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Why Leroy Jethro Gibbs is wrong and why "for any inconvenience caused" is a terrible apology

13/4/2018

1 Comment

 
Maybe I got more sensitive to the issue but it seems to me there has been a lot of public apologising by companies, organisations and political parties. Of course, there's nothing wrong about saying 'I'm sorry' when things took an unexpected bad turn. You might also be apologised (sorry, I just couldn't help myself there and sorry again for such an obvious apologetic pun – right I better stop here) for thinking that companies operating in a country (I'm in the UK) where sorry has become almost a synonym for saying 'hello' would be really good at it. However, I cannot tell you how tired, annoyed and offended (offended because they must think I'm stupid enough to believe that drivel) I have become hearing or reading the phrase 'apologies for any inconvenience caused', or similar meaningless expressions. Hold on, actually I can and I will.


The transport industry in particular seems to have adopted 'for any inconvenience caused' as their phrase of the century. If it would be up to me, I'd ban it outright. Instead London's train companies are championing it whenever they can. But they are not the only ones by far. I have seen the same from TalkTalk, HSBC, South Western Railway, Adobe and many more. Here's a random selection of examples from the last few days:


An H&M spokeswoman (after H&M's failure to deliver online goods at the promised time): "We hope for our customers’ understanding and regret any inconvenience caused".


A Conservative spokesperson apologising for a letter sent to an elderly couple but addressed to 'Mr Youmustbe Fuckingjoking' stated: "It is unacceptable that this letter was sent out and we apologize for any offence caused".


Post Office spokesman: "We understand and appreciate how much communities rely on our services and we apologise for any inconvenience caused by this temporary closure."


Managing Director of First Aberdeen: "We would like to thank our customers for their patience during this period while we sought out a solution and we apologise for any inconvenience caused." (Not only a generic apology but also presuming that people had a choice other than having their patience being tried and then having the audacity to thank them for that. And if I would be really picky I would point out that 'we would like to thank' is not quite the same as 'we thank our customers'.)


Sainsbury's in a company statement: "No other products or batch codes are affected by this issue, and we apologise for the inconvenience this has caused."


Primark was on the right track but fell back into bad habits (although, I would start with the apology and not a defence): "We work very hard to ensure our teams provide our customers with the highest level of customer care and we are sorry to hear of the level of customer service you experienced on this occasion. We assure you your comments have been shared with the management in our [...] store to address. We apologise for any inconvenience caused and thank you for taking the time to write to us and for bringing these issues to our attention."


Of course, sometimes things just don't go to plan and your customers bear the brunt of it, so you want to express how sorry you are. I get that and it's nice and important to take full responsibility and say you are terribly sorry - no excuses. But it's not just what you say but how you say it that counts. The latter probably even more.


Nothing shouts 'we really don't care at all' like an insincere and generic apology. It probably makes it worse by insulting the customer's intellect. Using a standard apology to cover any scenario of 'inconvenience' for the customer also says that you are lazy. A somewhat passive sentence structure masks or rejects that you are taking responsibility. If you can add 'by a bunch of muppets' you got it wrong. Try saying 'sorry for any inconvenience caused' to a date after you spilled red wine over their white dress and you can hear how stupid and detached it sounds. And this is the bit that the writers and sources of these apologies seem to forget or ignore, the recipient has to find the apology worthy of accepting. When apologising, you really need to pay attention to the recipient and their feelings.


If you have a good reason that explains the circumstances of why the problem happened, spell it out and if you can, include how you are going to fix or make amends. But make sure it's not just another meaningless or silly excuse like 'the train left late', the train is late because 'there might be snow in the afternoon' (heard at 7am in the morning and my all time personal favourite), and the always popular 'signal failure'. They all ask for another explanation as to why the signal failed and why the train didn't leave on time. If I had used excuses like that at school I probably would have faced extra homework at the very least. Real customer care sounds very different.


So next time, your trains are late, flights are cancelled, phone lines not working, your usual service is not available or whatever the particular problem is, why not try something different? Imagine how you would have felt if it would have happened to you. Be and sound sincere. Perhaps even add some personality and humanity to it, something that shouldn't be reserved to ad campaigns only. If you struggle with that, drop me a line – no apology required (and none offered for this shameless plug).


As for Leroy Jethro Gibbs and his rule 6: "Never say you're sorry. It's a sign of weakness." Sure, it's a fun catch phrase for TV and films (John Wayne used it too) but in the real word I say it's rubbish and just rude. Apologising is a sign of strength if you actually mean it, take steps to rectify the issue or mistake and make every effort to improve. Unless of course he meant to say "Say you're sorry but don't make excuses".

1 Comment
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